Melancholy January

The long nights… the cold days… the gray mood. The music...

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Are you feeling the melancholy of January?

I sit in the quiet, rain falling outside. The backdrop a dreary gray. A draft wafts in as a burning quiet encloses in on me, echoing in my brain. I ponder the long winter… waiting. Waiting for the light. Waiting for the warmth. Waiting for baseball. A walk in the park.

The scant damp days. The endless cold nights. Only to wake to clouds concealing the light. Concealing the light in the sky. (Concealing the light in my heart.) Melancholy January.

Sometimes you just have to embrace the melancholy. Sometimes the melancholy can be a comfort, a friend - if you don’t fight it. Sometimes you just have to sit in the melancholy, experience it within the dreary days and the never-ending nights. The solitude. The contemplation. Sometimes the melancholy is all you have. (Sometimes the melancholy is all you need.) Although, you know that there is light and warmth ahead. Eventually. Eventually color will return and overtake the misty gray. Eventually the days will grow longer ending with golden sunsets and warm dreams.

But for now – Melancholy January.

Music

And we have music. No, not ‘summer songs’ (Heatwave, Walking On Sunshine) while longing for the long sultry days to return [But, if that makes you happy… listen. I always encourage everyone to listen to what they like when they want it. That’s the beauty of music.] Embrace the melancholy of the season with music to match. Experience it. Live it. Be one with it.

Why? Because sometimes we just need to feel what we are feeling. Experiencing what we are experiencing. Sometimes we have to honor it, which can bring acceptance. There’s power in melancholic music. It’s therapeutic in its own way. It makes us feel supported in our feelings. It provides empathy.

Melancholy January (original music by me)

In working as a music therapist in a hospital setting, I use ‘melancholic’ music often. Because its not always about ‘lifting spirits’ or ‘making someone happy’. It’s about finding the music that is most needed in that particular moment:

Recently I was asked to visit with a patient in the oncology unit, a woman in her 60s. I was asked to see her because her doctor had just suggested that they discontinue treatment and “look for other options”. I had seen her a few times previously when she was going through it all and had hopes of remission. We shared music with positive themes, songs to facilitate feelings of fighting and moving forward. Now, things were… different. When I entered her room, she looked forlorn, sitting in the chair just looking off at nothing in particular. I asked if I could sit, and she said… “sure.” After a few moments I asked her if I could play some music. She said… “sure”. On the guitar I played something ‘pensive’ (minor key based, a sense of longing) just to connect with her. To match where she was… the music reflecting what she may have been feeling. To allow her to sit with her feelings of what was now a new perspective. A new focus. I eventually worked my way to ‘Both Sides Now’ (by Joni Mitchell). This was not the time for music about fighting or looking for the positive. This was time to reflect… reframe. To embrace the melancholy.

"I’ve looked at life from both sides now, from win and lose and still somehow… It’s life’s illusions I recall, I really don’t know life at all.”

There were some tears, but there was also an odd sense of… contentment. Contentment in having the space to, and being allowed to, feel what she was feeling at that particular moment. There was comfort in the empathy she found in the music. And comfort in just being able to… be. As I was leaving, she gave me a soft smile and said, “I have a lot to take in right now.” Yes, she does. And, perhaps, the music was the first step in helping take it all in, and then come to terms with what comes next.

Sometimes we need to embrace what is right in front of us - listen to the melancholy music… look at the melancholy art… read the melancholy poem… Time will come when the sun will shine brightly again... When we can pop on our ‘Summer Vibes’ playlist or sing along with Katrina and the Waves. But for now… this is where we are. But for now… embrace the melancholy – Melancholy January.

What songs or music fits your Melancholy January? Let me know in the comments below. I love hearing from you.

The healing power of music…

(*The stories presented in this blog are based on accounts or experiences and are not actual accounts or experiences.)

Raymond Leone, MMT, MT-BC is a board-certified music therapist based in Northern Virginia and writes extensively about music and wellness.