I’m Lucky - I Get To Be A Part Of Everyone’s Music

She didn’t need a relaxation experience. She needed Spanish style guitar.

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Music is subjective. We like what we like and use what we like for our own specific needs. And not all ‘relaxing’ music makes everyone relax. There’s no formula. There’s no “These are the best songs guaranteed to help reduce stress.” What if I don’t like those songs? When I have a hard day, and am feeling stressed, I need something that matches my inner angst, perhaps guitar driven rock & roll with a bit of an edge. (Think Soundgarden.) The music meets me where I am. It provides validation. It provides empathy. And there’s a release. It helps me ‘get it all out’. Perhaps after a bit I can turn to some new age guitar (Think Michael Hedges.) - but I need to work my way there.

As a music therapist working in a medical setting, I always want to know the music preferences of the patients I work with. Music therapy research shows that music preferences are highly important. Especially when we use music for emotional expression, or reflection. I mean… it makes sense, right? We like what we like. If I want something ‘soothing’, why would I listen to Jim Brickman when I may prefer some chamber music. (And I have nothing against Jim Brickman. If you like Jim Brickman…)

Music preferences can be particularly important when working with older adults who may be confused, or have dementia, or Alzheimer’s disease. You see, our music memories are some of our strongest memories. Music can help us retrieve and find again the true self that may be tucked away inside. Music can be a way back, a refresher of the self. Our favorite music can help lead a path back into the present moment. I’ve seen it time and time again.

If I’m working with a patient in the ICU who is on a ventilator and is anxious, and I know that they love Frank Sinatra, I’ll incorporate some Frank Sinatra. [While matching the initial tempo to their heart rate and gradually decreasing to help prompt a relaxation response.] If I’m working with someone who needs some stimulation after being under anesthesia after a long surgery, and I know that they love Elvis, I’ll incorporate some Elvis. [Gradually increasing the intensity to help ‘bring them along’.] If you ever find me compromised and want to give me some music for orientation, perhaps something from Van Halen’s first two records would do.

On any given workday, I may play songs from the ‘Great American Songbook’, the 1940s, 50s rock & roll, the classic folk music from the 60s, something from ‘The Sound of Music’, Abba, 80s trash pop, The Beatles (always) - Stones - Eagles, classic country (I love me some Patsy Cline!), Led Zeppelin, Foo Fighters, Johnny Mathis, Ella, Elvis, Ed Sheeran, Bruno Mars, Joan Baez, and… Metallica. [All with purpose - to help meet the goals or needs of the patients that I work with.] As a music therapist working in a medical setting, I get to be a part of everyone’s music. And I love it.

[I remember playing Metallica songs, in the ICU, for a gentleman who was on hospice. As I’m often asked to do, I brought some music in for comfort for the patient, and for reflection for the family. In talking with his wife and sons, they told me he loved Metallica, “It was his thing.” He even had the Metallica logo tattooed on his arm. So… Metallica it was. A little downtempo on my acoustic guitar. How great is it that Metallica got to be the last music he hears as he’s transitioning out of this life to whatever is beyond?]

Sense of self

When you are compromised, in the ICU, just diagnosed with cancer, have chronic pain, are facing a long road back from surgery, or admitted to the hospital for any reason, you immediately lose your ‘sense of self’. Your music… The music you love… Important songs from your life’s soundtrack… can help bring back a sense of self. I’ve played couples’ wedding songs as they were holding hands as one was passing. I’ve played songs from the prom. Songs from childhood. Songs that families used to sing together in the car on road trips. Songs that have such meaning you feel it throughout your body and your soul. There is such power in the songs that shaped us. Especially when we are hurting and looking for something to hold onto. They are part of our identity. They are our songs.

One of the things that I love about my job is that on any given day, when I walk into the hospital in the morning, I have no idea what music will be facilitated and shared that day. It can be anything from Gershwin to Green Day. Classical to Contemporary Christian. It’s the music that people love, connect with, and need when they find themselves in times of trouble. (Have I mentioned the Beatles? Always…)

She didn’t need a relaxation experience…

She’s young, and was in the middle of weeks long chemotherapy treatment. Her body battered by both her cancer and the high-powered medication that was supposedly killing it. She came in every two weeks for hours of treatment and knew how she would feel in the coming days. Imagine the stress that puts on your body and your mind. (I’m sure some of you can.) I encouraged her to close her eyes, breathe, and get lost in the music for a bit. I started in on the guitar, watching her, trying to figure out what she needed. Something soothing? After a few minutes I sensed it wasn’t working. I stopped and asked her, “Tell me about some music you heard recently that just took over your body and your soul.” “I love Spanish guitar. Lately I’ve been listening to Rodrigo y Gabriela. I love the drive they have. The energy. It fills me up.” So, I gave her ‘Spanish style guitar’ - rhythmic… driving… moving… Now the music took over her body. She settled into the chair. Her face softened. But there was also movement. (In a good way.) Her feet were gently moving, rhythmically, and her body and head swayed as if in warm water. It felt different now. It was working for her. Thirty minutes later when the music stopped, she opened her eyes and smiled. “Ahhh… time for a nap.” That’s right… driving Spanish style guitar helped her relax. Why? That’s what she loves. That’s what she needed in that moment. About half an hour later, I took a peak back in her room. She was sound asleep. She looked pretty relaxed to me.

Music is subjective. Use what you want when you want it. Use what you need when you need it. It can be powerful. It can be healing. Perhaps it’s Coltrane, Bon Jovi, Yo-Yo Ma playing Bach, The Drifters, Sabrina Carpenter, Parliament-Funkadelic, Madama Butterfly, Pierce The Veil, Kenny G. (Yes… even Kenny G.)

The healing power of music…

If you are anxious, stressed, out of sorts, what music do you turn to for comfort? Please let me know in the comments below. I love hearing from you!

(*The stories presented in this newsletter are based on accounts or experiences and are not actual accounts or experiences.)

Raymond Leone, MMT, MT-BC is a board-certified music therapist based in Northern Virginia and writes extensively about music therapy and music and wellness.

Did you know that if you hit the heart at the top or the bottom of this email you will make my day and it will make it easier for others to find this publication. Thanks!